Bill Corbett’s Creating Cooperative Kids

30 - The Amazing Parent Response that Stops Power Struggles

What if one simple phrase could reduce many of the daily power struggles between adults and children?

Get more help at http://cooperativekids.com

Most parents and teachers have experienced it:

"No."
"Why not?"
"That's not fair!"
"But everyone else gets to!"

And suddenly a simple conversation turns into an argument.

In this episode, we explore a small language shift that can dramatically change the tone of interactions with children. It's not a trick. It's not manipulation. It's simply a calmer way of communicating boundaries that often reduces defensiveness and resistance.

You'll discover:
• Why children often react so strongly to the word "no"
• How a simple change in wording can reduce arguments
• The connection between boundaries and emotional leadership
• A practical phrase that parents and teachers can begin using immediately

Sometimes the most powerful parenting tools aren't complicated at all. Sometimes they're simply different words.

Join us for this thought-provoking discussion and learn how one phrase may help create calmer conversations, fewer power struggles, and stronger relationships with the children in your life.

29 - The Seven Needs of Children of Divorce

The Christmas Gratitude for Kids 7 - 12 now available at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FZB2K4XF

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On today's show, professional speaker, author, and someone I call a friend, Tommy Maloney, and I unpack the seven essential things children of divorce truly need. We discuss the importance of parents who listen more and speak less, giving kids the space to express themselves without pressure. We highlight the value of regular access to grandparents, those steady anchors who provide comfort, continuity, and family connection.

We also emphasize how powerful it can be when parents take a parenting class, gaining tools to overcome the obstacles associated with co-parenting. We discuss the need for firm boundaries and limitations, especially during times when kids crave stability the most.

Tommy and I also explore how crucial it is to speak respectfully about the other parent, protecting a child’s emotional well-being. We touch on consistent rules about access to inappropriate material, making sure kids aren’t exposed to things they’re not ready for. And finally, we discuss the importance of parents having their own emotional support, because children need caregivers who are grounded, regulated, and capable of showing up with compassion.

These seven needs don’t require perfection, just intention, understanding, and love. 

ABOUT THE GUEST:  Tommy Maloney has spent years in the corporate world as a Training Consultant and Content Creator. He has partnered with brands such as The Home Depot, Bass Pro Shops, PNC Bank, United Airlines, State Farm, Savers/Value Village, and BJ’s Wholesale Club to create impactful learning experiences. This background has enabled him to connect with people from various backgrounds and distill complex ideas into actionable steps, skills he applies daily with his coaching clients. You can learn more about him at http://tommymaloney.com. 

28 - How to Get Kids to Pick Up Their Toys Without Nagging Them

ORDER the new Cooperative Kids Puzzle Book 

ORDER the new Holiday Shoppers Puzzle Book from Amazon.

Download the instructional handout for this exercise to share by CLICKING HERE

============================================

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Every parent knows the pain of stepping on a Lego at two in the morning — that tiny plastic reminder that life with kids is equal parts love and chaos. In this episode, I share one of my favorite stories (and lessons) about turning those frustrating “pick up your toys!” moments into something surprisingly calm — even kind of fun.

We’ll talk about what really works when your kids don’t do what they said they’d do, how to guide them without losing your cool, and why sometimes the quietest response can make the biggest impact.

It’s part story, part lesson, and totally real — because every parent’s been there. Grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and let’s laugh (and learn) our way through one of parenting’s greatest daily battles: getting kids to follow through… without the yelling.

27 - Parenting Book Review: RCB Gets a Thumbs Up

===================================

Download the eBook HOW TO GET KIDS TO OWN THEIR HOMEWORK

Visit Bill's website:  http://cooperativekids.com

===================================

Discover how one father’s journey to find better parenting tools led him to a transformative experience with the Redirecting Children’s Behavior (RCB) program. In this heartfelt episode of The Bill Corbett Podcast: Creating Cooperative Kids, Bill shares how learning to pause before parenting reshaped not only his approach as a dad but also his connection with his children.

Bill explores what makes RCB so different from traditional discipline methods — emphasizing empathy, communication, and calm reflection over punishment. He discusses how taking a “parent timeout” can model emotional regulation, helping kids develop the same skill. Listeners will gain insight into how mindful parenting can strengthen family relationships and reduce stress at home.

If you’re seeking practical tools to raise cooperative, confident, and emotionally aware children, this episode offers real-world wisdom rooted in compassion and experience.

26 - Stop the Begging and Pleading: The new Wish Book is HERE!

Episode Review: Teaching Patience with the Wish Book

==========================================

Here's the link for The New Wish Book for Girls on Amazon

Here's the link for The New Wish Book for Boys on Amazon

==========================================

If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of a toy store standoff — your child begging for the latest gadget while you debate between caving in or bracing for a meltdown — this episode is for you.

In this week’s show, we explore the brilliant simplicity of The Wish Book, a tool that transforms chaotic “I want it now!” moments into calm, teachable opportunities. Rather than saying “yes” or “no” in the heat of the moment, parents can redirect their kids to write, draw, or paste their wishes into a special notebook — their very own Wish Book.

✨ What We Cover in This Episode

• The Problem with Saying Yes (or No) – How giving in teaches kids that persistence (and volume!) works — and how saying “no” too often can create power struggles.

• How the Wish Book Works – Step-by-step guidance for using the book, including tips for encouraging creativity, cutting out store flyers, and making it a fun ritual rather than a frustration.

• The Big Benefits –

  • Delayed Gratification – Helping kids build patience and understand that wanting doesn’t mean getting right away.

  • Emotional Regulation – Giving kids an actionable way to process their feelings instead of melting down.

  • Decision-Making Skills – Teaching them to prioritize what truly matters over time.

  • Respectful Communication – Turning conflicts into calm conversations and strengthening parent-child connection.

• Parent Perks – Why this approach makes birthdays, holidays, and even shopping trips easier and less stressful, and how it can support your budget and family conversations.

💡 Why This Episode Matters

Parenting is full of teachable moments, but they often show up when we’re least ready for them — in checkout lines, at playdates, or right before bedtime. The Wish Book reframes those moments into something positive and proactive. This episode is packed with practical advice, humor, and encouragement to help you raise kids who are more patient, thoughtful, and emotionally resilient.

Whether you’re a parent looking to avoid power struggles, a caregiver hoping to teach gratitude, or just someone tired of the phrase “Can I have that?” — this episode will leave you with a new favorite parenting tool.

---

🎧 Call to Action

📚 Get Your Copy: Ready to try it for yourself? Grab a copy of My Wish Book — available now on Amazon — and start transforming those meltdowns into meaningful moments.

💌 Share the Love: Know a fellow parent who could use a little more peace and a lot less whining? Send them this episode!

⭐ Join the Conversation: After listening, let us know how the Wish Book works for your family — tag us on social media or leave a review to help other parents discover this simple, powerful tool.

25 - Lost You're Cool in Front of Your Child - What to do Next

Even the most patient parent has moments they regret, such as the checkout meltdown, the raised voice in the car, or the hasty words that sting more than intended. What you do after those moments matters as much (if not more) than what happened in the heat of it. Children are resilient, but they need guidance to process what they have just witnessed and to learn how to manage their emotions effectively. Here’s how to turn a moment you wish you could erase into one of the most powerful lessons you can teach.

=================================

Check out Bill's resources at http://BillCorbettsBooks.com

=================================

24 - Dollars & Sense: Raising Money-Smart Kids

Money lessons don’t have to wait until your kids get their first job — they can start right at home, right now. In this episode, I sit down with another dad to talk about the small, practical ways we can teach our kids the value of saving, spending, and even investing.

We share real stories from our own households — from the first time we handed out allowance money to the creative "saving challenges" that actually got our kids excited to stash away their cash. We’ll dive into strategies like using clear jars for visual savings goals, turning grocery shopping into a budgeting lesson, and even letting kids "invest" in family decisions so they start thinking about returns and trade-offs.

But it’s not just about the kids — we also talk about how our own behavior sets the tone. Kids watch how we spend, save, and give, so we dig into the importance of modeling good habits, having open conversations about money, and being transparent about why we make the financial choices we do.

Whether you’re a new parent wondering where to start, or a seasoned dad looking for fresh ideas, this conversation will leave you with actionable tips and fun activities you can use this week to help your kids respect money — and maybe even have a little fun with it along the way.

23 - Love & Logic Has It Wrong... Again

Not all parenting programs are created equal, and many offer parents and teachers misguided information. We should not just demand and manipulate our kids into being more cooperative; we should be raising children who want to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so.

In this episode, we'll reveal how one of those programs frequently offers misguided information and gimmicks.  In some of the parent practices of the Love & Logic methodology, they suggest that parents use techniques that lead to a child feeling shame, blame and guilt, three human motivators that are not only demeaning, but are incredibly discouraging.

22 - Is Your Child Begging for Labubu - What it is and Why

In this episode, we dive into the unexpected surge in popularity of the new Labubu doll from China and how its widespread success is sparking a wave of "fear of missing out" (FOMO) among children.

==========================================

Get the number one parenting tool that everyone is talking about

==========================================

As kids see their friends and peers with the latest trendy toy, the pressure to keep up can be overwhelming. We explore the psychological effects of FOMO and how it affects both children and parents, particularly when it comes to keeping up with the latest trends.

We also discuss practical parenting strategies for helping children manage FOMO. From fostering a sense of contentment and gratitude to encouraging creative play outside of material goods, this episode offers insightful tips to help parents guide their children through feelings of comparison and longing. Learn how to set boundaries, cultivate resilience, and shift the focus from possessions to experiences, helping children build emotional strength and a healthy mindset.

Join us for a thoughtful conversation on navigating the pressures of materialism in today's world and empowering your children to thrive beyond the latest trends.

21 - How To Stop Back Talk and Increase Cooperation

Get ready to learn the number one solution to stopping back talk and at the same time, increasing cooperation. You'll be listening to an excerpt from my television show, Creating Cooperative Kids, that was taped in front of a live studio audience. Sit back and relax, and get ready to learn tips that could change the dynamics of your home or classroom.

I surveyed parents over a 3 year period who attended my parenting workshops. The survey asked them what was their biggest complaints about the kids that brought them out to hear me speak. Now, the top 3 complaints I received were: they don't listen, they don't cooperate, and they talk back. When I brought these results up at other parent groups, the parents there agreed. Parents are hungry for the solution to these common and frustrating problems, but sometimes I'm able to change their perception completely when I tell them that a very high percentage of these problems are actually a symptom of something else and something the they can control.

If you too are experiencing these same problems with your children, pay close attention as I reveal much of the cause of children not listening, a lack of cooperation and back talk. The most important thing that I want offer you might be difficult to embrace. The greatest cause of a lack of cooperation from the kids is something we parents can control... our kids don't feel fully connected to whoever the primary caregiver is. Connection is the key. I believe that we were all put on this earth to feel connected to others. We're supposed to feel connected in families, groups, teams and clubs. We are a species created to be with each other. And children, whether they're 3 or 13, have this same desire; to feel connected. I think all children really want their parents to listen to them and to truly see them. 

Children want their parents to really be there 100%. The worst thing we can do is to be talking to a child when we're on phones or using other distractions. The primary thing that I hope to help you all understand about reconnecting with children, is how to do this when children have been away from the primary caregiver for an extended period of time, perhaps overnight or all day at school. When kids wake up in the morning, they want to check in with mom or dad or whoever their primary caregiver is. It's almost as if they have a plug and they just wanna plug back into whoever is caring for them. It can even be a grandparent or a stepparent, whoever it is, they just crave to plug back in. They just wanna know that they are important, that they exist that you can hear them. That they still matter. 

A mom came to me one time and said, you know, I'm having this problem with my kids. Every morning they begin to fight at the breakfast table. They're 4 and 6, and I can't stand it. I'm ready to sell my kids to the zoo. Please tell me What I can do to stop this fighting when it happens. This is a perfect example of the symptom of a child not feeling plugged in and connected and as a result, misbehavior can occur. Back to this mom's need for help, I asked her, when this fighting breaks out, what is going on with her? She then went on to list all of the chaos she was generating in that moment. She said, "I'm a single mom and I'm loading the dishwasher, putting in a load of laundry, I'm making lunches, I'm folding clothes and I might even be trying to talk to my boss on the phone, all at the same time." 

In that moment listening to her, I could feel the stress coming from her while she explained everything. So I said to her, here's one solution that, if you put 100% of your effort into it, it could resolve this issue and reduce the one thing you want to stop... the fighting. So here is your assignment. Starting on Monday morning because it begins a new week, I want you to sit down at the breakfast table with your boys. Come to the table with some sort of timer and set it for 10 minutes, just 10 minutes. During that 10 minutes, I want you are to sit there quietly and calmly and don't speak. I mean, don't say one word. Your only job is to communicate through your facial expressions. That means a lot of smiling and nodding. Just 10 minutes. 

One additional step... because you've got a younger child, a 4 year old, you be more successful if you take the time to set this all up in advance with the boys. This way they'll know what to expect and won't get freaked out on Monday morning that mom has lost her ability to speak. Over the weekend, set up what the new breakfast morning scenario will look like and practice it with them. Mom then says to me... "You're kidding me, right?! That's your advice?! To sit for 10 minutes with my kids and not talk?! I said yes. She said that's the most ridiculous parenting advice I have ever heard." 

One of the things I wrote about in my book Love Limits and Lessons is that the the it's so important for us to plug in and connect with our kids and especially with young children. And it's good advice to help them see in advance what it's all going to look like. So the mom got mad at me. She actually got up and left and walked out of the workshop. She wanted nothing to do with it. She thought it was the most ridiculous thing. Until about 2 or 3 days later she was done being mad at me and she tried it. Two weeks later she left me a voicemail and apologized for her behavior because she suddenly saw instant results. 

Now, do you think the fighting and arguing went away? No, probably not, but it got to a more tolerable level of arguing and bickering that reduced mom's stress about the fighting. Believe it or not, connecting with kids is one of the easiest things we we can do and the most powerful, if we believe in it and get behind it. Another stressful segment of any parent's day is the end of the day when you're picking kids up from school or they're coming home from school. When you come back together as a family as a unit, they again need that same kind of thing... the plug back in to the parents. I urge parents to talk less and listen more during these two critical points of a day with kids. 

If you have to speak during these times, avoid giving commands and instead, ask questions. They don't care what you're gonna say in those first few minutes they just wanna know that you care. They wanna know that you're you're still there for them and they're still number one. Also avoid getting distracted with newspapers, phones or televisions. You'll be more successful as a parent if you help them feel connected: no distractions, less talking, questions if you have to, facial expressions if you have to communicate and do it all at their eye level. Getting to their level says, "You are very important to me and I see and hear you right now in the moment."

This isn't much different than what we experience as an adult. How many times have you felt this yourself with someone you're in a relationship with, or perhaps noticed another couple experiencing this? Maybe you found yourself wanting to just say to the other person, "Do I matter? Just slow down for a minute. Can you shut the TV off for a little bit? Put that newspaper down, or want to say to them, "I want you to hear what I have to say right now." This connection is more important than ever in humans, especially children. What we have to realize is that if we allow our child to plug back in and reconnect with us, it can actually eliminate the need to act out and misbehave. That's because so much of challenging behaviors in children is communication. They are trying to tell us that they crave reconnection to us. 

So if you want cooperative kids, look for opportunities to help them feel like they're important and they matter. In the sample solution I gave to that mother seeking help, suggesting 10 minutes of silence for her at the table, you could even get away with just five minutes, especially just starting out with this type of exercise. Lead this kind of exercise you'll begin to notice changes in their behavior. 

I want add one other important thing that can increase a child's cooperation; encouragement. Encouragement is showing support for things they can do and accomplish. It's not just giving attaboys, but instead, getting them to talk about the things they like and can accomplish. It's all about looking for opportunities to make positive comments that help them feel important in the family or the classroom. It's been said that children need encouragement like flowers need water. Studies have been done to show how adults and youth alike are discouraged far more often then encouraged. Examples of discouragement include words intended to make them feel small, unimportant or insignificant. Encourage on the other hand are positive comments that lift them up.

I like to remind parents to learn to calm themselves and slow down a little bit more. If we take time to breathe deeply, amazing things happen and I know it sounds weird, but when we breathe deeply, more oxygen goes to our brain and allows us to think more clearly and be able to react more effectively in stressful situations. And when we slow down and become more calm, more often, we'll begin to notice a change in our children as well. They will feel that calmness from us and begin to feel heard and seen by us all the more. This will reduce their need to misbehave, talk back and they will in turn, listen more.